Conflict at work is uncomfortable, but an inevitable part of any job.

Whether it’s miscommunication with a teammate or a disagreement over a project, it’s stressful and easy to mishandle. 

Workplace conflict, however, is normal. You can learn how to handle conflict at work in a way that builds trust, improves collaboration, and strengthens your team dynamic.

Here’s how to approach it with clarity, empathy, and confidence.

Start by Taking a Step Back 

When you’re in the middle of conflict, especially if you’re frustrated, it’s tempting to respond immediately. Reacting in the moment can often make things worse. The first step in handling conflict at work is to pause and reflect before jumping into a conversation.

Ask yourself: 

• What specifically upset me? 

• Is this about one moment, or an ongoing pattern? 

• How do I want to feel after this conversation? 

This helps you respond with intention, instead of acting out of emotion. It sets the tone for a conversation that’s calm and productive, rather than defensive or heated.

Choose Curiosity Over Assumption 

Assuming intent can escalate the situation before you’ve even had a conversation. Instead, lead with curiosity. Maybe you think your coworker ignored your input on purpose. Or your manager’s tone in that meeting meant they don’t respect you. 

Before jumping to conclusions, try approaching the situation with curiosity instead of certainty.  

Try this: 

• “I noticed [X]. Can you help me understand what happened?” 

This kind of open-ended question keeps the conversation grounded and respectful. It creates space for clarification and connection, rather than conflict.

Avoid Blame and Use “I” Language 

This small change is crucial to deescalating a situation. Speak from your own experience, not the other person’s behavior. You’re more likely to get a positive response when you share how something made you feel instead of pointing fingers. 

Instead of: 

• “You never listen in meetings.” 

Try: 

• “I felt unheard in the meeting, and I’m hoping we can talk about it.” 

This shift might seem small, but it can completely change how your message is received. It keeps the conversation constructive instead of devolving into confrontation.

Look Towards the Future 

Once the issue is out in the open, don’t dwell on the past. Instead, focus the conversation on what can be done differently going forward.

You don’t have to rehash every detail or prove your point. A good conflict conversation ends with clarity and next steps. 

Try: 

• “How can we avoid this going forward?” 

• “What would make collaboration easier for both of us?” 

This will take the conflict and turn it into a positive moment of growth, improving how you work together moving forward. 

Know When to Bring in Support

Conflict isn’t always a one-and-done. Sometimes you’ve tried your best, but nothing’s changing. Or the situation feels too complex or emotional to manage on your own. 

If the conflict escalates, it’s okay to bring in a manager or HR. 

That might look like: 

• Asking for a mediated conversation 

• Requesting support around expectations or communication 

• Looping someone in to help move things forward 

Looping someone in doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It shows maturity and commitment to a healthier work environment. 

You can’t control a conflict from popping up, but you can control how you approach the situation. Always try to approach difficult situations with honesty, empathy, and a desire to find common ground. 

Even when things don’t resolve perfectly, people will remember how you handled it. The way you show up in these moments says a lot about your leadership. 

The next time you find yourself in a tough spot at work, remember: every conflict is a chance to build clarity, empathy, and stronger collaboration.